Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

 

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

 

Q: What did one light bulb say to the other?
A: "I love you a whole watt!"

 

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: "I find you very attractive."

Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: "I dot my i's on you!"

 

Valentines Present Story:

As Valentines day was approaching, Charlie decided to buy a special gift for his new girlfriend, Ruth. The couple had not been dating for very long, and so Charlie wanted to make sure the gift was just right. Ruth was always complaining about having cold hands, and so Charlie - after careful consideration - decided a good gift would be a nice pair of gloves.

Charlie took his sister with him to buy the gift - he wanted a woman’s opinion. they found a nice pair of gloves at the store, and Charlie’’s sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time. Unfortunately, the sales clerk got the two items mixed up.

Charlie mailed his Valentine’’s Day gift to Ruth, accompanied by the following note:

I chose this Valentines Day gift as I noticed that you often don”t wear any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.

These are a lovely colour. The lady at the store where I bought them showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks, and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely.

I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I”ll be kissing them in the future. I hope you”ll wear them Friday night for me.

Love,

Charlie